I was scrolling through Instagram yesterday when I came across this terrifying story about a popular Nigerian actor cheating on his wife (I’ll call her Jane).
To make matters worse, his cheating birthed a child. And to cover things up, he secretly married the other woman. Gossip circulated that he may have come out as a result of a celebrity gossip handle relaying the news.
To be honest, I despise the news. It’s simply fueled by negativity and sorrow. But I decided to investigate further. I saw it back then — his first wife relaying her hurt to her husband and co-wife.
To be honest, I felt her pain and began to wonder how her mental health was doing in that situation. In her comment section , fans were telling her (the first wife) to leave everything to God and heal.
True, their concerns came from a place of love, but is it really that simple to heal such severe damage?
As you correctly predicted, it’s not! So, what can you do if you ever find yourself in a situation like this? You’re in luck because I have the following suggestions:
Remove yourself from your toxic environment.
This appears to be a simple task, but in reality it is extremely difficult. Why? What if your family is the source of your stress and emotional imbalance, rather than a mere toxic environment? Now comes the conundrum. You can’t just cut off family, can you? If you have the option of leaving completely, do so. If you don’t, here are three things you should do:
- Boundaries
Try not to be concerned about a family member who mistreats you. Feel fortunate to have a family that is always there for you– Karen Salmasohn
Set boundaries on your chosen family members and don’t be ashamed or feel guilty about it. They, on the other hand, are unaware of your boundaries. Why? If a member of your family is insane, they may resort to making your life even more difficult.
In this case, setting boundaries is synonymous with detachment. You can still be in the same space with them(if you really have no option of getting away), but their words or actions won’t trigger you anymore. Setting boundaries also aids in lowering expectations.
- Make some time for yourself.
Staying alone for a while can help relieve emotional and mental stress. Imagine sitting in a park, soaking in the sun and watching nature bloom. You’re going to feel a lot better than staying close to your trigger source.
- Look for someone to talk to.
Emotional pain should not be kept hidden and should never be discussed. There is truth in your pain, and there is growth in your pain, but only if it is brought to the surface.” — Steven Aitchison,
I know you said be alone, but hear me out: you can’t deal with mental stress on your own. Sure, your periods of isolation can be beneficial, but talking to someone about your situation is even better.
You’ll know you’re not alone, and if something bad happens, you’ll have someone to turn to. I’m not sure if you’ll see this as appropriate, but I strongly suggest that your ‘someone’ be a priest, and not just any priest, but someone with a human touch. If you don’t want to and have money to spare, seek therapy.
Don’t let them bother you.
It’s simple to play psychology games with someone who is under a lot of stress. Don’t get tangled up in this. You might start blaming yourself for the situation, saying things like, “what if I did this or if I was just like this?”
However, you are not to blame for the entire situation. You’re nothing more than a victim who makes excuses for your abuser.
Look, manipulative people have one characteristic in common: they avoid taking responsibility and blaming others. Don’t let them get the best of you. Maintain your position.
Consider the following: In the preceding example, Jane could easily blame herself for her adulterous husband’s actions. She shouldn’t, though. Toxic people rarely change, and you don’t have to roll in the mud with them. Protect your peace.
It’s extremely difficult to fight back when your family is the source of your mental health issues, but I want you to know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
I hope this helps you navigate your life in difficult times.
By the way, follow me on here for more content like this. If you’ve ever been in a situation like this, do leave some tips in the comments about how you stayed sane.
Thank you for reading! Bye 👋
